remember to feel real
I find it hard to take...
...when people run in circles. It's a very, very mad world
writer

Samantha. Twenty-one. Occassionly enjoys being a dork with a capital D and has officially given up bath tub racing because its just too draining.

loves

Making/recieving letters, flying kites, bendy straws, glitter, coffee w/ hot cocoa mix, corny jokes, graffiti on trains, oragami, making up words for my dictionary I plan to write one day, sound effects, people, laughing, heretical ideas, word plays, eating animal crackers from my pocket & handlebar moustaches.

wanted

A slack-line, a herd of pup-dogs, to reside temporarily in the wilds from time to time, 80's style sunglasses, which cover the entire top portion of your face, & a genetically altered tree that grows money. I'm still waiting on that.

links

Deviantart

Bored?

Exploding Dog

Natalie Dee

Drogue Designs

30Sec Bunny Theatre

past

  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • September 2009
  • October 2009


  • x

    skin by afterbirth
    the creator of this pattern is unknown, if it's yours please email afterbirth.
    Monday, January 22, 2007
    Positive feedback

    "Life goes fast, its hard to make the good things last."
    Thank you Flaming Lips.

    So, the sign was a hit! I ended up standing by the door to listen while some dude used the can. As he came out he asked one his friends if they had seen it. They both went into the bathroom and they both laughed while one said, "Its so true though, sometimes I'll come in here and it'll be like the Black Forest of Death."

    Another funny story. Ready?
    This lady calls in to the radio station and asks the DJ if she can order a pizza. He replies with, "I'm sorry we're all out." She goes, "What do you mean you're all out? You're a pizza place!" He tells her to hold on a bit, he'll see what he can do." While she is on hold, he tells the listeners that this sort of thing happens all the time, the lady is just messing with him. He goes back to the phone call and says, "Well, I have some up dog." Obviously confused she asks, "Whats up dog?" The DJ replies with, "I dunno whats up with you biatch!" and then hangs up. Haha. So good.

    Working at a Daycare is providing to be a good form of birth control. Its given me enough incentive to not want to have kids.

    I'm still working on posting a lil' somethin' somethin' from B, but its all sooo good, I just can't choose.

    Although the book proposes that human over population is the main culprit for environmental problems... it also mentions that once less food is produced that pop. will go down and keep itself in check. This may be true, but how does one decide who gets food and who doesn't? In my mind I imagine the richer people benefiting, where the poor luck out, once again. Maybe the poor people and opressed are like the little starved boy living in the closet like in Those Who Walk Away From Omelas. I'm not saying its ok for people to suffer, just that the story says that in order for us to be thankful for what we do have, we have to know about the negative alternative. I dunno, in my Environmental Issues class the prof talks about how there arn't really any easy solutions to any of the enviro problems....and as a result people feel overwhelmed and end up taking inaction. Which doesn't do any good either. But yea, tough business. Alright enough about that. Its bad enough I'm a compulsive recycler... I cringe when people throw away paper... I just want to do a James Bond stunt double roll by the garbage can and whisk out the paper and put it in a recycle bin. Ever watched Living with Ed? I'll probably turn out to be a female version of him. I'll have my solar panels taking up most of my house, and make my toast in the morning via riding a bicycle. Haha. Seriously though, I just want a decent little house so I can populate it with adopted pup-dogs rescued from the pound. It'll be a pooch pad!

    My new goal is to slowly recover my social life, and actually talk to people when in group settings rather than just one on one. Lately I've been tending to clam up if I'm around 2 or more people. Bad news.
    Ok ok. Done. Nice knowing you.

    Saturday, January 20, 2007
    Stop shedding, please.

    I hang out a lot at my friend's dorm room and his bathroom is always gross. For some reason there is a noticeable amount of ball lint or something on the lower half of the seat. I got sick of looking at it everytime I went to use the can so I made a sign. I drew a peach and a banana with the slogan, "Keep the fuzz on the peach." Hopefully it works.

    Wednesday, January 17, 2007
    Smiling Frog

    Last night my roomate and I were watching this sitcom called, "Standing Still." Its one of those couple-duo-comedy type things. Y'know... the husband is the big funny type and the lady is all skinny and beautiful. Nothing wrong with that, of course.

    Anyways...must get to the point.

    So, theres a part where a mother-in-law type comes into the door and is mentioning how she just got a new 3-piece-swimsuit and she's all excited.
    The husband replies with, "I hope the third piece is a blindfold."

    I about died, I laughed so much. It was just a nasty remark, but pretty clever.

    At the moment I'm attempting to read The Story of B by Daniel Quinn, but I'm making terrible progress. I think I'll post a exerpt from it sometime, it'll be some good brain food.

    Tuesday, January 09, 2007
    Going for the gold

    I know I need to change my attitude, but I just don't have the motivation to do it.
    I just don't care anymore.
    I'm burnt out.

    "And though I know that my actions are impossible to justify, they seem adequate to fill up my time. But if I could talk to myself like I was someone else, well then maybe I could take your advice, and I wouldn't act like such an asshole all the time."

    Saturday, January 06, 2007

    When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
    I get a coffee and the paper; have my own conversations
    With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection

    ...And I’m not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
    The reasons all have run away but the feeling never did
    It’s not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live

    Friday, January 05, 2007
    Repudiated: Refused, rejected, denied

    The creator of what's now cliché had some funny words to say
    "All you little things are incomplete"
    Why did he speak of us that way? I don't cry not cause I don't care
    It's very hard to feel the way we used to feel up there
    The creator of what's now cliché
    Wants us little things to cry and feel alone

    But don't don't lose hope no no no no
    No no no don’t feel sad cause it's a violent world
    But there's still beauty
    I'll take care of you if you take care of me

    I like to sit and listen to the sound Of the snowflakes landing on the trees But I can't get used to feeling cold I can't get used to what has happened here to you and me There's no escaping so I won't try It's just the heaviness that comes with knowing you will never die

    - The Repudiated Immortals by Of Montreal

    Monday, January 01, 2007
    Happy New Year

    Happy New Year.
    2007. Wowza, wowza.
    Did you enjoy yourself last night?
    The following is a ramble. Warning.

    I have so many people to love in my life, so why worry about one?

    Should I not make a person a priority, now that they seem to only make me an option?
    If I feel that you don't care, I tend to mirror that back.
    I know I'm becoming apathetic towards a lot of things, which is really too bad.
    In my head I felt like I was the one making the effort in the friendship, and I think along the way I just became burnt out.

    Maybe I'm just burnt out on everything. I keep thinking if I just take it easy, I'll care more.
    Maybe I don't want to care, b/c caring makes you vulnerable. But don't you have to take risks in order to get a lot out of life?

    Ugh, guilt.
    Why do I feel so guilty about things?
    I wish I could toss that right out the window. Just chuck it like it was going out of style.

    And why is it that some friendships take more work and effort to maintain, while others don't require hardly, if any input from either parties? We can be ourselves, good/bad/goofy/serious. I never know when to let go of a person and just let them have their space or if we're just kinda growing in different directions and will later have the opportunity to be better friends. I don't like this waiting game. But part of all this is my fault too, I never say whats on my mind about situations, nor am I very upfront about how I feel. I worry too much about offending the person and their reaction, them not understanding where I'm coming from, or just making a big deal out of everything... and so I just avoid bringing it up altogether.
    That doesn't solve anything.

    Also, add in the mix of us putting up walls, which make it harder to get to know people/communicate.
    Stupid walls.
    Relationships are so complex.

    I can't even pretend that you are my friend, what has happened to you and I? And don't say that I have changed cause man of course I have.